The countdown is gone...

The lovely and exciting countdown that has graced my page here for oh so long is now gone. There was still almost 11 hours left on it but seeing it there just makes me sad now that we are no longer going. I really hate when punishments punish myself, but I now acknowledge I have to grow up and act like a parent instead of just making threats that I never seem to carry out. I am very sad though that the more time goes on the worse a parent I think I'm becoming. I did at one time think we were doing a good job. I really have no interest in talking about any of this either so don't bother asking. I will just retreat into my sad little head for awhile and then I'll be alright again.